About Aries
Aries with their giant puppet, Pearl.
MY STORY
As a bi/pansexual, polyamorous, trans and nonbinary, kinky, sex-positive, death care professional I’ve had a whole life of challenging and confusing experiences to understand and move through (and it’s a continuous process!) As someone who has also experienced family of origin trauma, LGBTQIA+ identity and family issues, stigmatized death of loved ones, and disenfranchised grief, I also understand just how dark and overwhelming life can feel when we think we are alone. However, working with therapists, peers, and deathcare colleagues has taught me that moving through grief with intention and plenty of community support can be a path to growth.
In all of my work, I am committed to anti-colonial practices and dismantling internalized capitalism. As a recovering perfectionist, I understand firsthand how colonizer ideals can be deeply internalized in how we see ourselves and move through the world. In all of my coaching and education practices, I use a queer-centric, intersectionally informed, anti-racist lens to help us decolonize ourselves and our relationships.
MY APPROACH
I want the folx I work with to feel safe and relaxed enough to be able to share without fear of judgment. When dealing with stigmatized death, disenfranchised grief and personal identity issues, it’s common to feel guilt and shame. I want you to know that I have personally experienced difficult things, and can truly empathize with where you are coming from.
I counter typical mental health culture as a queer, kinky, post-professional, anti-capitalist, sex positive person. Our sessions will center consent, respect, and critical thinking about the issues at hand, while leaving space for play, light heartedness, and exploration within a safe space. I can be irreverent (hello swear words!) and believe that finding humor is an important way to provide levity in situations that otherwise can seem overwhelming. I believe that no experience is without value if something can be learned from it. When we feel safe enough to laugh and play, we can also feel safe enough to confront challenging emotions.
I am also a formally trained visual artist, dancer and poet. I’ve had extremely positive experiences in both art and movement therapy, and I will draw on these techniques to help create spaces for play and expansion, freeing up more space for open communication and cultivating relaxation, physical ease, and comfort.
MY BACKGROUND
I have always been outgoing, social, and curious. I was born and raised in unceeded Cherokee territory (colonially known as Alabama). As the constant black sheep in Southern culture, my childhood made me believe that I would never find a place to belong. Fast-forward 30 years, and I find myself living life as my whole self— out as a trans, polyamorous, relationship anarchist, leather Daddy, burlesque/drag performer. Learning to dismantle perfectionism, capitalism, and cis-hetero-patriarchy helped me find my people, my community, and my home.
On stage, I’m known as Daddy Stardust, and I am a Daddy in many of my BDSM dynamics. The concept of “Daddy” in my identity relates to nurturing, caretaking, chosen family, and BDSM power exchange. “Stardust” comes from my eternal love for the queer icon David Bowie. Discovering a David Bowie cassette tape in 3rd grade changed my life. Throughout my youth, Bowie was a guiding light in weirdness, androgyny, and authenticity. Bowie taught me that it’s ok to be my whole self, and that’s exactly how I show up on stage, and in my relationships.
Since coming out, I have consistently found nourishment in community. Having the support of the people in my life who have become my chosen family has been a huge milestone in my emotional and mental well-being. I’ve worked on my relationship issues in therapy for nearly 10 years, and have been able to overcome codependency issues, self-worth issues, and issues caused by my anxiety and anxious attachment style. All of these aspects of myself, and my work to better understand and overcome the challenges they’ve presented in my life, are folded into my peer coaching work. I have a wealth of personal experiences to draw from which help me better understand what mentees are going through.
My worldview is very queer-informed. I grew up in a very restricted, sheltered environment that made me feel shame and guilt about who I was and what I felt. Learning to love who I am, and finding the community that I needed to feel safe fully embodying my whole queer and kinky self has taught me that every person deserves a space in which to feel totally un-judged. I’ve learned that the more I love myself, the easier it is to move through my grief and other challenges with intention and patience. The work it takes to figure out exactly who we are and what we desire is vital to our well-being. When it comes to grief and loss, the most important step for me was letting go of guilt and self-blame. Difficult, sad, overwhelming things happen, and while they are hard to deal with, they don’t have to be the end of the world. It took me years to believe this, but finally accepting that fact set me free.
SERVICES
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Qualifications
I have many years of lived experience with disenfranchised grief, traumatic loss, anxiety, disordered eating, codependency, queer identity issues, and polyamory.
Professional Experience
2022-2024: Mental Health Coach at Intrepid Therapy Collective
2023- Present: Co-Founder, Queer Community Care
2021-2024: Death Care Educator/ Creator of Death Curious
Education
MFA, Visual Art, 2014
The Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts (PAFA), Philadelphia, PA
BFA, Sculpture and Minor Degree, Art History, 2011
The University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB), Birmingham, Alabama
Graduated Summa Cum Laude, with University Honors
Certified Funeral Celebrant, 2022
The Insight Institute/Insight Books
1 Year in the Education Masters Degree Program 2016
Lipscomb University, Nashville, TN
Death Care Continuing Education Courses and Lectures:
National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) Conference, October 2024: “Death Queerious: Why the LGBTQIA+ Community Needs Special Support in Death Care”
Lifting the Lid International Death Festival, November 2022: “Providing Visibility and Support for the LGBTQIA+ Community in Death Care,” “The Real Eco Impact of Body Disposition,” Panelist on the “2SLGBTQIA+ Death Care Professionals” Panel Discussion
The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) Annual Conference, October 2022: “The Value of Contemporary Cremation Rituals”
Selected Independent Annual Conference and Convention, September 2022: “Contemporary Cremation Rituals and New Death Technology”
Washington State Funeral Directors Association Annual Conference, August 2022: “The Future of Deathcare: Excess Death and the Covid-19 Pandemic”
Texas State Funeral Directors Association Annual Conference, June 2022: “Building Contemporary Cremation Rituals”
Ohio Funeral Directors Association Annual Conference, May 2022: “Three Cremation Trends and the Eco Impact of Disposition”
Social Work, Hospice, and Palliative Care Network Annual Conference, April 2022: “Solidified Remains and the Value of Ritual Building”
Selected Independent Round Table Webinars, November 2021: “Three Cremation Trends: How to Prepare”
New Jersey State Funeral Directors Association Annual Convention, Sept. 2021: “What Deathcare Can Learn from the Covid-19 Pandemic and Excess Death”